Atrocities Against the Innocent, Fat Quarterbacks, & Perennial Underachievers - The Big Ten Preview

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Good morning and welcome to 4th & Forever, Rand & Tate’s College Football Newsletter. Rand is gallivanting around New Mexico for some reason that has to do with his alleged “job”, so you’re going to be largely stuck with Tate in this edition. But we do have exciting news for you - the official 4th & Forever T Shirt is here! Thousands of people have been approaching us on the street saying things like, “When is the official shirt coming?? My wife won’t stop asking” and “If you don’t put a QR Code on the sleeve that links to your website I am going to commit horrible atrocities against those that you love”, so we felt it was finally time. We’ll introduce more details in the coming weeks, but here’s a sneak preview.

 Big 10 Preview

This week we’re previewing the Big Ten, a conference that his historically been filled with slow midwesterners but recently decided to expand to the Pacific Ocean, altering the power structure of college football for good. This team is going to get multiple teams into the first ever 12-team College Football Playoff this fall, so let’s figure out who those teams will be!

These Two Should Be In The B1G Title Game

Ohio State Buckeyes

Coach: Just For Men brand ambassador Ryan Day has an overall record of 56-8 during his tenure as head coach at OSU, yet somehow enters 2024 on somewhat of a hot seat due to the fact he’s yet to win a national championship and has lost to Michigan three consecutive times. Day has, however, amassed a group of an army-like collection of talent that has put Ohio State as one of the two national title favorites headed into 2024 along with UGA. The pressure is on Day more than just about any coach in the country to not just beat Michigan, but to be getting to the national championship game at minimum.

Quarterback: Will Howard comes in from Kansas State where he started most of the past two seasons. He threw for 2,600 yards, 24 TD’s and 10 Int’s last year, but is pretty mobile for a 6’4 guy so the QB run game can add a little wrinkle to the OSU offensive attack this year. From a talent standpoint, Howard is a far cry from guys like Justin Fields and CJ Stroud, but he’s more than capable of being a big time college football QB and the talent surrounding him is going to make his life a whole lot easier. With all of that said, Howard’s ability to lead this team down the field when necessary is still a big question for this team.

Schedule analysis: The Buckeyes are going to cruise to a 5-0 start, and once again OSU’s schedule will really begin in mid-October when they head to Eugene to play Oregon, a likely top-5 matchup. Games against Nebraska and on the road against Penn State are intriguing, but at the end of the day this entire regular season comes down to this: DO NOT F***ING LOSE TO F***ING MICHIGAN AGAIN. A road loss to top-5 Oregon in October can be forgiven in the new 12-team playoff world, but anything short of a Big Ten Title with a victory over Michigan would be a colossal failure for this team.

Glass Half Full: “As of now, this is one of the most talented rosters in the last decade, maybe ever” is what former Buckeye head coach and nefarious evildoer Urban Meyer had to say about the 2024 Ohio State Buckeyes. OSU always recruits the high school level incredibly well, and now their NIL collective has committed in a big way to amassing as much talent as possible. The Buckeyes brought in safety Caleb Downs, arguably the best player in the entire country, from Alabama and stole him away from Georgia in the process. They also brought in RB Quinshon Judkins, again arguably the best RB in the country, in from Ole Miss to create a two-headed monster in the backfield with TreVeon Henderson who decided to forego the NFL Draft for one more year. Emeka Egbuka, Carnell Tate and Brandon Innis all return at wideout, and the WR room also brings in five-star freshman and #1 overall player in the country Jeremiah Smith, who most recruiting nuts consider the best wide receiver to come out of high school since Julio Jones and AJ Green came out in the same class in 2008 - he is an absolute freak. Defensively, on top of adding the best player in the country in Downs, OSU got several key players to return, notably edge rushers Jack Sawyer and JT Tuimoloau - two potential first-round picks in their own right. Hybrid safety/linebacker/freak of nature Sonny Styles looks to breakout as well and will create absolute nightmares for teams to try to scheme around in combination with Downs. This team is going to be very, very good.

Glass Half Empty: There are still questions about the offensive line, which has struggled at times over the past few seasons and has been one of the primary reasons OSU has not yet been able to clear the national title hurdle under Day. Having Judkins and Henderson at running back is great, but even with great running back play in recent years the offensive line has struggled to consistently give them room to run. Without a guy like CJ Stroud back there to take over games with his arm and improvisation talent, the offensive line remains a big concern. Sure, they’ll cakewalk through almost all of their regular season schedule, but when it comes to games against Michigan, Oregon (maybe x2), and Georgia/Bama/Texas in the playoffs, this OL could once again be the reason OSU can’t break through and win the damn thing. There’s the aforementioned questions about Howard as well, and frankly the pressure on this team to be the best in the country could become a major factor if these guys do take a regular season loss.

Oregon Ducks

Coach: Dan Lanning enters his 3rd year as Oregon’s head coach after seemingly turning down the Alabama job when Nick Saban retired, and there isn’t a more intriguing coach in the country when it comes to long term potential. Lanning was the defensive coordinator for arguably the best defense college football has ever seen (2021 Georgia), won 11 games in his first year in Eugene, then won 13 games in his second. He’s been recruiting phenomenally the whole time and is now amassing an absolute war chest of talent in what might be the #1 overall recruiting class in 2025. His in-game decision-making has been called into question a few times, but there is no question Lanning is turning into one of the sport’s best coaches.

Quarterback: Dillon Gabriel decided to forgo the NFL Draft and return for his 194th season of college football, and there isn’t a more accomplished passer in the sport headed into 2024. Gabriel has thrown for nearly 15,000 yards and 125 touchdowns in his days at UCF and Oklahoma, and now enters an offense that was so efficient it somehow turned Bo Nix into the 12th pick in the NFL Draft. Gabriel likely doesn’t have much of an NFL future but he is a damn good college quarterback and we’d be pretty surprised if he wasn’t a Heisman finalist come December.

Schedule analysis: After an easy W against Idaho in Week 1, things get interesting for the Ducks quickly. Boise State - who may be the best G5 in the country headed into the season - comes to town in Week 2 before the Ducks keep their rivalry with Oregon State alive and visit Corvallis in Week 3. The game everyone has circled is the October 12th matchup against Ohio State in Eugene - very possibly a Big Ten title game preview. Outside of an early November trip to Ann Arbor, the rest of the Big Ten schedule seems pretty manageable for the Ducks. Oregon avoids Penn State, Iowa, USC, and even Nebraska. The games against OSU and Michigan will define the regular season for Lanning’s up-and-coming squad.

Glass Half Full: There is a lot to like about this team. As good as Bo Nix was in this system, Oregon somehow upgraded at QB with Gabriel, who will also get to throw to one of the country’s best receivers in Texas A&M transfer Evan Stewart. Speedster Tez Johnson, who had over 1,000 yards in 2023, is also back at wideout, as is Traeshon Holden and former five star Jurrion Dickey. With all of the attention the passing game is going to draw from defenses, star RB Jordan James is almost certainly going to take advantage in a big way behind a very experienced offensive line. This offense is going to be absolutely elite. Defensively, Jordan Burch is back at defensive end while the Ducks added two key transfers on the DLine in Derrick Harmon from Michigan State and Jamaree Caldwell from Houston - three guys who will be drafted in the first few rounds of the draft next year. The secondary, which has gotten them beat at times the past two years, now looks like it could be one of the Big Ten’s best with potential first rounder Jabbar Muhammad transferring in from Washington and countless other experienced and talented players battling for the other spots. Hell even the linebacker room brings back a ton of experience as well. This team is going to be nasty.

Glass Half Empty: While there genuinely aren’t any ‘holes’ on this team at the moment, this is still a program that has never won a national championship, and entering a new league - let alone the Big Ten - is no easy task. Dan Lanning is adamant in his philosophy of often going for it on 4th down and just generally being aggressive, but it’s arguable that that philosophy has directly led to three different losses in his first two seasons in Eugene. He’s still a young head coach who has not yet proven that he can break all the way through, and questions about his team’s ability to do so could create pressure that will be tough to navigate if the Ducks drop a game or two in the regular season. 

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Tier 2 - The Dark Horses

Penn State Nittany Lions

Coach: James Franklin comes into his 11th season as Penn State’s head coach with an 88-39 overall record in Happy Valley, but 32 of those losses have come in Big Ten play. Franklin’s Nittany Lions have been consistent in his tenure, but has only once broken through to win the league. That was eight years ago, and even that team managed to lose two regular season games in the process to miss the College Football Playoff. Franklin is undoubtedly one of the sport’s best coaches despite kinda looking like a worm, but there’s a reason this program has been referred to as the one that will benefit the most from the playoff expanding to 12.

Quarterback: Drew Allar returns for his second season as the starter and while he did a good job of not turning the ball over in 2023, it felt like the biggest nothing burger of a season a QB could possibly have. Allar was hyped up the entire summer of 2023 as the guy that would put Penn State over the top, but throwing for only 2,600 yards (including a combined 28/64 for 261 yards against Ohio State and Michigan) was far from meeting those expectations. Allar still has a ton of talent, though, and there’s reason to believe he’ll be better set up for success in 2024.

Schedule analysis: The season kicks off with a bang on the road against rival West Virginia (a team with a more proven quarterback at this point), but if Penn State is able to get through that, they have a nice runway to get into midseason form. Four straight home games lead them into a big test on the road against USC before their bye week. After that bye they head to Madison to play Wisconsin, and then comes the big daddy game back in Happy Valley against Ohio State. They do avoid both Michigan and Oregon which is massive for PSU’s playoff hopes. Things end pretty easily with Purdue, Minnesota, and Maryland.

Glass Half Full: The defense is going to be very good. Abdul Carter is one of the best players in the country, an elite Big Ten player who can fly off the edge with power in passing situations but who also excels in the run game against obviously-run-heavy teams. The secondary is always talented and well-coached, and there are only a few teams in the league that have as talented of a defensive line as PSU has. Outside of USC and Ohio State, this defense is going to shut down virtually every other offense they play in the league. On the offensive side, Andy Kotelnicki takes over as the OC after leaving the same position at Kansas, and that is what interests me the most about Penn State this year. Kansas ran one of the most unique and effective offenses in the country at Kansas, constantly scheming guys wide open and consistently getting his playmakers the ball in space. A fresh offensive approach with an experienced quarterback may actually, finally be what pushes these fellas over the top.

Glass Half Empty: With all of that said about Kotelnicki, who exactly are those playmakers that he’s going to scheme wide open and get the ball to in space? Arguably half the blame for Allar struggling at times last year was the complete and utter lack of talent he had to throw the ball to. PSU brought in Ohio State transfer Julian Fleming who was once the #1 receiver in the country, but his career has been completely derailed by injuries and has never taken off. Kotelnicky’s unique offenses also heavily include the QB run game, and Allar is, uh, not exactly Lamar Jackson. Running backs Nick Singleton and Kaytron Allen are studs, but having stud running backs only matters if you can throw the ball and prove you’re not entirely one-dimensional. And that’s still a huge question because, I mean… it’s James Franklin’s Penn State for god’s sake. 

Michigan Wolverines

Coach: Sherrone Moore takes over for Jim Harbaugh and actually comes in with a 4-0 record as Michigan’s head coach due to the Deep State’s various suspensions of Harbaugh last season. Moore intends to continue the run-heavy, physical culture Harbaugh created and he has shown an ability to adapt in-game as he did in last year’s Penn State matchup. He has a tough task ahead of him this season, though.

Quarterback: Uhhhhh Alex Orji? Warren Davis? Jack Tuttle? True Freshman Jadyn Davis? We have no idea at this point, but what we can confirm is that one of these guys will be handing the ball off quite a bit.

Schedule analysis: A home game against Texas kicks things off in a big way in Week 2, and will tell us a lot about what this team is actually capable of in 2024. USC comes to town a couple of weeks later, but overall the rest of the schedule should be a breeze until a visit from Oregon and a trip to Columbus for The Game in November. The talent Michigan has on the roster should beat everybody else with relative ease.

Glass Half Full: First and foremost, the defense is going to be quite elite once again. Defensive tackle Mason Graham is a projected top-10 pick in next year’s NFL Draft, as is cornerback Will Johnson who is likely the nation’s best at his position. There is a ton of talent and experience on that side of the ball which will, as always in Ann Arbor, keep the bottom from falling out on what will be a rebuilding team and coaching staff. Offensively, the Wolverines will once again have one of the country’s best offensive lines blocking for one of the country’s best running backs, Donovan Edwards. There are obvious questions about the QB position as mentioned, and there remain exactly zero difference makers at wideout, but this team’s bread and butter will be physically running it down your throat, and they’ll be able to do that successfully again this season.

Glass Half Empty: Buuuut, yeah, those QB and WR question marks will almost assuredly get them in trouble a couple of times this year, because games against Texas, Oregon and Ohio State will likely require the passing game to… exist… to some degree. Running the ball and playing great defense only gets you so far - the lack of proof that this team will be able to push the ball down the field through the air is going to limit their ceiling this year.

Iowa Hawkeyes

Coach: Kirk Ferentz, who is 119 years old, returns after firing his son and offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz after a nightmarish last couple of years for the Iowa offense. It’s nice he finally pulled the trigger on that and all, but the amount of time it took him to admit that things weren’t working calls into question his ability to do this job as effectively as he can anymore. He’s done great things at Iowa, but his offensive philosophy - which is seemingly that scoring points is akin to the murder of the innocent - is still limiting this team from being a true contender in the Big Ten.

Quarterback: Cade McNamara comes back for his second year at Iowa after transferring in from Michigan, and returns from a leg injury that forced him to miss most of last season for the Hawkeyes. McNamara is nothing special, but is certainly better than any QB Iowa has had in several years. If he can stay healthy, a fresh pairing with new OC Tim Lester could provide some much needed energy and production for this offense.

Schedule analysis: With the old division model now defunct in the Big Ten, Iowa will no longer be able to be a Big Ten West merchant and will now have to play with the big boys much more often. The CyHawk rivalry against Iowa State is always a close game early in the season, and an almost guaranteed loss @ Ohio State could have this team in a tough position early. Overall, though, the schedule is about as easy as you could make it as the Hawkeyes still manage to dodge Penn State, Michigan, Oregon, and USC.

Glass Half Full: As always, the defense is going to allow like 9 points all season long, and this defense is one of the most experienced unit in recent college football memory with 4th and 5th year guys littered throughout the two-deep. If all goes to plan on that side of the ball, it could take only marginal improvement from the offense to not be the absolute worst thing humans have ever laid their eyes upon, to win another 9 or 10 games with this schedule. Outperforming expectations could result in this team quietly remaining in the playoff race deep into the season.

Glass Half Empty: Kirk Ferentz is still the coach and the wide receivers are currently FCS caliber players. Even with the change at offensive coordinator, there is no real reason to believe Ferentz’s philosophy has changed at all, and that could result in yet another catastrophic year of offense. If that’s the case once again, they’ll lose more games than they are used to due to no longer being able to play Big Ten West team after Big Ten West team, who have all essentially been worse versions of Iowa for several years. Teams with much better offenses will start to beat them more often.

USC Trojans

Coach: Lincoln Riley, the offensive wizard and the defensive atheist. He famously left Oklahoma, where he’d made three straight CFP appearances in his first three years as head coach, to become the bossman in LA. Year one was a success out west, winning 11 games while his QB won the Heisman, but his defense continued to hold him back. His masochism reached new heights last year, dropping to an 8-5 record while his defense continued to be absolutely hapless. He finally fired defensive coordinator Alex Grinch, a move people had been expecting him to make since his days at Oklahoma.

Quarterback: Lincoln Riley’s QB’s in his head coaching career have been: Baker Mayfield (Heisman winner, #1 overall pick), Kyler Murray (Heisman winner, #1 overall pick), Jalen Hurts (Heisman finalist, NFL MVP runner-up), Spencer Rattler (he’s really good I’m telling you), and Caleb Williams (Heisman winner, #1 overall pick). The reins are now turned over to some guy named Miller Moss, a guy nobody had heard of until their bowl game last season, a guy who throws the ball like an idiot. To be fair, he did throw for five touchdowns in that bowl game, but that doesn’t fit my narrative. 

Schedule analysis: The Trojans open the season against LSU which is going to be the Labor Day Weekend version of a Vicodin mixed with eleven beers (pouring one out for OJ) because both teams are going to score approximately one billion points. A week 3 trip to Ann Arbor could also be embarrassing for the USC defense because Sherrone Moore might have Donavan Edwards run USC’s defense straight through the turf 40 times. Are you getting a sense for how we feel about this team? The rest of the schedule isn’t too bad as USC avoids both Ohio State and Oregon, the league’s two best teams, with the toughest remaining game coming at home against Penn State in October. 

Glass Half Full: Lincoln Riley has never had an offense that you could consider anything less than “lethal”, so they’ve got that going for them. Wide spread, fast paced, high-flying action is not something that Big Ten teams are used to facing, so we certainly expect the Trojans to be able to out-score many of the teams on their schedule. Dropping a guy like Zach Branch, the most electric player in the country, onto the eyes of a bunch of midwesterners is going to be like if you teleported Kevin Durant into the 1960’s NBA. They have never seen anything quite like this and they will be scared. USC has playmakers all over the offense and if they can just get a few stops under new defensive coordinator D’Anton Lynn, this will be one of the league’s better teams, because the defense won’t have to face the incredible offenses they were consistently seeing in the PAC-12 anymore.

Glass Half Empty: Riley’s defenses have been so fucking horrid it actually pisses me off. How can you have the run of quarterbacks he has had and currently be on somewhat of a warm/hot seat because your defense is always that bad? It’s a disgrace to the game we love. It took Riley waaaaayyyyy too long to fire Grinch and therefore prove he even cares about the defensive struggles, and until his team proves they’re actually taking that side of the ball seriously, they will not contend in this conference. The talent is not there on that side of the ball, in the recruiting isn’t much better at the moment, either. You can score 45 against Minnesota, Maryland and Rutgers all you want, but you will get beat by the Big Ten’s best if you don’t have one iota of toughness or physicality in this league. They have to prove it before we write anything nice about them. 

Tier 3 - A Cheez-It Citrus Bowl Appearance Would Be Lovely

UCLA Bruins

Coach: DeShaun Foster comes into a tough situation in year one after Chip Kelly left to take the offensive coordinator position at Ohio State in a shock move. Foster played at UCLA before a six year career in the NFL led to him getting into coaching, and he’s been on the UCLA staff as the running backs since 2017. He’s highly thought of as a bright young coach in the industry, but this situation could not be much tougher. There was an exodus of players when Kelly left at the 11th hour of the hiring cycle (for a demotion at a conference foe, no less), including prized 5-star freshman QB Dante Moore, who is now at Oregon. Foster may find success eventually at UCLA, but it probably isn’t going to be this year.

Quarterback: Ethan Garbers returns as the full time starter after splitting snaps with Moore in 2023. He threw for over 1,000 yards, 11 TD’s, and 3 INTs with a 67% completion rate last year,  which is far from terrible. But that was under one of the best offensive coaches in the sport in Chip Kelly, and he may lack playmakers to throw to this season. 

Schedule analysis: The Bruins travel to Hawaii in Week 1 which always creates the potential for early chaos, and Indiana comes out to LA in Week 3. UCLA travels down to Baton Rouge to play LSU in late September, and immediately follow that up by hosting traveling back to LA to play Oregon, and then flying all the way to Pennsylvania to play Penn State the following week. By the time they arrive back in LA on October 6th, the Bruins will have already amassed over 13,000 air miles and played three straight ranked teams. The rest of the schedule is filled with toss-up games, but it’s hard to imagine UCLA comes out of that brutal early season stretch fresh and ready to go down the stretch. It’s starting to make sense to me why this program decided to cancel its home-and-home series against Georgia on Tuesday.

One reason to watch this team: To be very honest, the #1 reason to watch this team is because they will be playing three playoff contenders in consecutive weeks, as discussed above. There isn’t a ton of exciting talent on this Bruins team to write home about right now, but they’ll be involved in some intriguing road trips and elite uniform matchups early in the season. We highly doubt you have to pay attention to them beyond Halloween at the latest.

Washington Huskies

Coach: Jedd Fisch took the Washington gig after doing an incredible job at Arizona over the past few seasons, particularly last year where he took the Wildcats to a 10-3 record that included 8 straight wins - five of which came against ranked teams - including an impressive Alamo Bowl victory over Oklahoma. Fisch’s squad lost only three times last year - twice on the road in overtime, and once by seven points to the eventual national runner up Washington. Safe to say this dude can coach, but he’ll have his work cut out for him as quite literally everyone on last year’s playoff squad left Washington either to the NFL or to the transfer portal.

Quarterback: Will Rogers comes in after a prolific career under Mike Leach at Mississippi State. Simply listing passing statistics isn’t exactly the best way to tell the full story of a Leach QB, but having a guy who has thrown for 12,000 yards and 94 touchdowns in his career in the SEC is just about all you can ask for in Washington’s position this year.

Schedule analysis: Things start off easy enough during the out of conference slate, with the only real contest coming against rival Washington State in Week 3, but that team is completely depleted itself. A home game against Northwestern and a road trip to Rutgers is about as smooth sailing of a start as you can get, but things pick up with games against Michigan, Iowa, Penn State and Oregon down the stretch of the season.

One reason to watch this team: Outside of Rogers, it becomes incredibly difficult to recognize the names of anyone else on this team. 20 of there 22 starters from last year’s playoff squad are gone which will certainly result in some growing pains this season, but the Huskies have the potential to be one of the most fun teams in the league this year. Rogers can sling it around and Fisch has always had a way of getting the most out of the talent he has. This isn’t a conference title contender this year, but if you don’t bring your A game to play a Jedd Fisch team, you’re at risk of getting upset. This is a team to keep an eye on as they play big opponents throughout the season.

Wisconsin Badgers

Coach: Luke Fickell enters his second year in Madison after shaking up the foundation of what “Wisconsin Football” means at its core. After decades of recruiting the most massive corn and cheese-fed offensive lineman to run the ball behind 50 times per game, Fickell brought divisive offensive coordinator Phil Longo, who is known for up-tempo, spread out attacks, with him to Madison. QB injuries derailed true signs of progress last year, but Fickell is one of the country’s most elite coaches as showcased by the fact he took a G5 Cincinnati team to the CFP just a few years ago. 

Quarterback: Tyler Van Dyke transfers in from Miami where he was simultaneously pretty good and absolutely garbage for a few years. Van Dyke has a ton of arm talent but has always struggled seeing the field and making good decisions, so we’re interested to see if a very good coaching staff can pair his experience and arm talent into one of the Big Ten’s better quarterbacks. TVD threw for over 7,400 yards and 54 touchdowns during his career at Miami, a place that is obviously very similar to Madison, Wisconsin in terms of climate and culture. 

Schedule analysis: Everyone in the country will be watching the Week 3 matchup when the Badgers host Alabama, but an out of conference loss against the Crimson Tide shouldn’t be a season defining moment for this team. The big stretch comes in late October through early November when Wisconsin hosts Penn State, travels to Iowa, and hosts Oregon in consecutive games. The Badgers travel to Nebraska before Thanksgiving in what will be a huge game for both teams, and close the season at home against Minnesota in the Battle for Paul Bunyan’s Axe.

One Reason To Watch This Team: One of the most interesting teams in the league this year, this may be the first time in decades that Wisconsin has matched competent offensive coaching with a potential NFL quarterback. Running backs Chez Mellusi and Tawee Walker give the Badgers more shiftiness and quickness than Braelon Allen was able to, which is a much better fit in Longo’s offense. Defensively we really like cornerback Nyzier Forquerean, a rangy 6’4 transfer from Division II who performed well for the Badgers down the stretch last year. Safety/Nickel Ricardo Hallman also returns after leading the nation in INT’s last year, so if the secondary can slow down the better offenses in this league, this could be another team that’s tough for teams to beat week-to-week this year. 

Nebraska Cornhuskers

Coach: Matt Rhule, known as somewhat of a rebuild master, comes into his second year in Lincoln with some high expectations. Rhule took both Temple and Baylor to new heights during his time at each school, often making huge leaps in years 2 and 3. Rhule led the Cornhuskers to a 5-7 record in year one, and while having high hopes in mid-July is nothing new for Nebraska fans, it feels like this team might actually, finally, be trending in the right direction.

Quarterback: After originally committing to Ohio State, Dylan ‘Chunky McGee’ Raiola decommitted and quickly committed to Georgia, who he eventually spurned to go to Nebraska where he is a legacy. He’d already attended three different schools in three different states during his high school career, so it may be wise for Cornhusker fans to be cautious about his long term commitment in Lincoln - especially considering that a professional sumo wrestling career could come calling at any moment. But for now, the five-star Freshman phenom has the potential to be the best Nebraska quarterback since Tommie Frazier.

Schedule analysis: Boy oh boy, this schedule could provide much easier of a runway. The big early season game comes at home against Deion and Colorado, and while the Buffs were able to beat them last year, that game was in Boulder and the Nebraska offense was an absolute trainwreck - something we don’t expect to be the case this year. If the Huskers can get through that game unscathed, there is a very real possibility that they roll into Columbus, OH at 7-0 in October. Even with a loss there, Nebraska avoids both Michigan and Oregon, and while the last three games @ USC, vs Wisconsin, and @ Iowa are all very tough, this is the textbook definition of a “dark horse” candidate.

One reason to watch this team: There is much more than one reason to watch this team: the quarterback is a five-star Jared Lorenzen clone, their schedule sets up to where they could be in the playoff hunt deep into the season, they are going to be very well-coached with a good defense, and they play against Deion which means you are actually legally required to watch them. Hyping up Nebraska has evolved into a fool’s errand as the years have gone by, but dammit I’m doing it. This is one of the most intriguing teams in the country to us this year.

Michigan State Spartans

Coach: Jonathan Smith comes in from Oregon State where he saw tremendous success relative to the resources available to him out in Corvallis. He brought a lowly Beaver program back to relevance during his tenure, winning 10 games in 2022 and 8 games in 2023. He’s thought of as one of the best younger coaches in the sport at only 45 years old.

Quarterback: Aiden Chiles follows Smith from Oregon State, and we’re ready to say that this is our sleeper pick for All-Big Ten award lists at the end of the season. He backed up DJ Uiagalelei last year at OSU, but the buzz around Beaver practices all season was that Chiles is an absolute star in the making. He has great size at 6’3 ~215, he’s very mobile and can beat you with his legs, and all reports indicate that he has more than enough arm talent and processing ability to beat you in the intermediate and downfield passing game as well. There’s not a single player in the Big Ten that we’re more intrigued by than Chiles.

Schedule analysis: With all of that said about Chiles, this squad may be taking some losses early and often this year. The Spartans have to travel to Maryland in Week 2 which won’t be easy, and then a four game stretch from late September to mid October is absolutely brutal - MSU hosts Ohio State and then travels to Oregon in back-to-back weeks, then after a bye they host Iowa and travel to Ann Arbor to play rival Michigan. Oof. It’ll be fun to see if Chiles can elevate this team into an upset contender though, especially with a little bit of time to get his feet under him before that stretch of games hits.

One reason to watch this team: I don’t think I need to repeat myself here - the one reason to watch this team is Aidan Chiles.

Minnesota Golden Gophers

Coach: PJ Fleck and his ‘Row the Boat’ mantra have been at Ski-U-Mah for 8 years now which is a remarkably long time for someone to willingly live in Minnesota. Row the Boat essentially means don’t dwell in the past, keep looking forward blah blah insert coach talk here blah. Fleck rowed the Gophers to 11 wins in 2019 followed by consecutive 9-win seasons in ‘21 & ‘22. After a 6-7 season and four new entrants into the league, Fleck might want to pull his oars up and start dwelling in the past like Nebraska and Miami fans. 

Quarterback: You know what they say, out with the burning pile of shit and in with the unproven white dude from New Hampshire. Athan Kaliakmanis transferred to Rutgers after a putrid 2023 that saw just one game with over 200 passing yards in 12 starts. Max Brosmer is a transfer from FCS New Hampshire and was sought after by numerous P4 programs in portal this winter. Expectations are low but it can’t get much worse, unless you’re Iowa. 

Schedule analysis: One of the easiest in the Big 10 by a wide margin. Road trips to Michigan and Wisconsin won’t be easy but trips to UCLA, Rutgers, and Illinois should be. Iowa, USC, North Carolina, and USC all visit Minneapolis with the UNC and USC matchups promising to be two of the ugliest uniform clashes in college football. 

One reason to watch this team: Brosmer’s competency might not matter because they have RB Darius Taylor who was phenomenal last year before getting injured. Assuming he can stay on the field he could be the next great Minnesota running back with Mohamed Ibrahim, Laurence Maroney, and the great Pug Lund of the 1934 National Championship winning Gophers.

Maryland Terrapins 

Coach: Mike Locksley enters his seventh season at Maryland where he has gone 29-33 overall, but has bounced the Terps up to back-to-back eight-win seasons in 2022 and 2023. He worked under Nick Saban for a few years which means he is a genius, of course, so despite not having done a whole lot so far, he’s under no threat of being fired barring absolute disaster.

Quarterback: MJ Morris comes in from NC State where he flashed last year, and expectations are pretty high that he can keep this offense humming after successful years with Talia Tagavailoa under center. Morris was a hyped-up recruit coming out of Pace Academy in high school, but (fun fact I guess?) his dad was famously difficult to deal with and schools like UGA, Clemson and Florida allegedly backed off for that reason. He’s pretty good though!

Schedule analysis: The Terps avoid both Ohio State and Michigan which will be very refreshing for a team that’s played both every year for a decade, but they do unfortunately have to travel to Oregon in October and Penn State to close their season. We’ll count those as losses, but this team does have a chance to stay in striking distance in the Big Ten standings with games against Indiana, Northwestern, Minnesota, Rutgers, and Michigan State on the slate.

One reason to watch this team: Again - Morris is pretty good and dynamic! Locksley’s offenses have been entertaining, if nothing else, and his program has come close to beating some of the league’s best teams at times in years past. They aren’t going to wow you with talent and they have a habit of falling off a cliff late in seasons, but they’re not your typical slow, run-first, boring Big Ten team. They’ll be exciting and they’re always putting somebody on upset watch at least once per season.

Tier 4 - Football Teams

Purdue Boilermakers

Coach: Year 1 was a wash under Ryan Walters that resulted in a 4-8 season. The former Illinois DC and Broyles Award Finalist (nation’s top coordinator) should lead an improved defense from the abysmal 30 ppg it gave up a year ago. The jury is still out on Walters but there’s no reason to panic yet, especially at a place like Purdue. Even with the potential for another 4-8 season, Purdue Ryan Walters is not even the most controversial Ryan Walters as evidenced by his second page standing on Google which isn’t normal for a Big 10 head coach. That honor would go to the Oklahoma Superintendent of Public School Ryan Walters who just enacted a policy to teach the Bible and Ten Commandments in public schools. Politician Ryan might want to reread them himself especially the one about not stealing considering he’s under FBI investigation for using COVID relief meant for poor families on arcade games for his man cave. Walters is also said the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre wasn’t racially motivated but should be taught as a lesson on individual responsibility.  

Quarterback: Well I went down a rabbit hole there but I’m back and now I get to talk about Hudson Card. God Dammit. Ope, sorry Ryan, definitely didn’t mean to use the Lord’s name in vain there, let’s just chalk it up to a case of individual responsibility. Card, a 4-star recruit, was at Texas for three years before transferring to Purdue last season. He’s incredibly athletic and played WR in high school but I’ve heard about his potential at QB for the last 5 offseasons. Time to put up or shut up in year five. 

Schedule analysis: Well balanced. Matchups with three other projected cellar dwellers in Indiana, Illinois, and Northwestern plus FCS Indiana State means their floor should be three wins. Throw in steamrollings at the hands of Ohio State, Oregon, and Rand’s Purdue alum Grandfather will kill him for saying this but Notre Dame too. Purdue’s Pinstripe Bowl prospects come down to how they play on the road in Corvallis, Madison, and East Lansing. 

One reason to watch this team: On paper this team is one to watch. Walters defensive prowess coupled with OC Graham Harrell (yes, that former QB) is a pairing CFB pundits have had their eye on since Walters took over last year. Those aforementioned matchups against top level Big 10 teams could lead to some upsets and noise in West Lafayette if Walters and crew can engineer a Year 2 turnaround.

Rutgers Scarlet Knights

Coach: Greg Schiano has leveled this program up for the second time after leaving for the NFL in 2011 and returning to Rutgers in 2020. He got the Scarlet Knights to a bowl game last year for the first time in ten seasons, and now gets to escape the hellscape that was having to play Ohio State, Michigan, and Penn State every season in the Big Ten East.

Quarterback: Athan Kaliakmanis, who, as mentioned above, threw for over 200 yards one time for Minnesota last season. We’re not expecting much here. Also why is his name Athan? That is not a name.

Schedule analysis: The season should start with two wins against Howard and Akron, but an out of conference road trip to Virginia Tech isn’t exactly ideal for a team that’s going to be fighting through a Big Ten schedule. With that said, this is undoubtedly the easiest schedule for anybody in the conference this year. Rutgers somehow avoids all of the big three of OSU, Michigan, and Oregon. They do play UCLA and @ USC in back to back weeks - two games that will take place nearly 3,000 miles from each other and still count towards conference standings, because that is where college football is right now. Regardless, this easy schedule could allow Schiano to build on the momentum he’s created and get this team back to a bowl game - perhaps even a decent one?

One reason to watch this team: They will be playing football.

Indiana Hoosiers

Coach: “It’s pretty simple. I win. Google me.” - new Indiana head coach Curt Cignetti formerly of James Madison. There’s no denying his track record at James Madison, Elon, or whatever IUP is, but now he’s at one of the worst football programs in college football history in one off the premeinent conferences. In international relations, political theorists sometimes use bipolarity to explain the distribution of power in the world. There are two dominant powers and their allies going against each other and historical examples include the Allied & Axis Powers, The Cold War, and US & China today. Translate that to college football and you clearly see the SEC and Big 10 as the two powers. If Ohio State and Michigan are the United States that makes Indiana Fiji. Or France. They never win shit. 

Quarterback: Tate’s man crush and former Ohio QB Kurtis Rourke transferred here after a successful but oft-injured stint in the MAC. The 2022 MAC Player of the Year carved up Bowling Green and Central Michigan back in the day but in the Big 10 that’s like saying you’re a good driver because you passed your permit test as both of Rand’s sisters did, as did presumably the entire Georgia football team. 

Schedule analysis: Quote machine Cignetti was given a mic at an IU basketball game this winter and said “Purdue sucks, but so does Michigan and Ohio State.” Well buster time to put your money where your mouth is because your last three games of the season are against them. Besides that it’s a pretty light schedule especially in the non conference where IU went out on a limb and scheduled FIU, Western Illinois, and Charlotte. I’m sure the season ticket holders appreciate it. 

One reason to watch this team: Old faces in new places a majority of our readers will recognize. Former Wake Forest RB Justice Ellison and WR Ke’Shawn Williams are here along with former UNC RB Elijah Green. Aside from that, you’re better off getting a head start on your taxes. 

Northwestern Wildcats

Coach: David Braun was officially named the Wildcats’ head coach after taking over as the interim in the summer of the 2023 season, due to the hazing scandal and investigation that ousted longtime beloved head coach Pat Fitzgerald. Apparently it’s against the rules to make a bunch of dudes get naked and do stuff in the locker room now? Wokeism knows no bounds. Anyway, against all odds Braun led Northwestern to 8 wins in 2023 after Fitzgerald went 1-11 in 2022. Impressive stuff for the young guy who won Big Ten Coach of the Year and now has things trending upwards after a long period of stagnation in Evanston.

Quarterback: Jack Lausch, who is a human person.

Schedule analysis: A home game against Duke is the only real challenge in the out of conference slate, but Big Ten play starts with a trip out to Seattle to take on conference newcomer Washington in late September, which will be tough. October is about as boring as you could possibly make a Big Ten schedule with games against Indiana, Maryland, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Purdue, but unfortunately November gives the Wildcats back-to-back games against Michigan and Ohio State.

One reason to watch this team: Their home games are going to be played like ten feet from Lake Michigan which could create some comically horrible weather situations for opposing teams. Let chaos ensue. 

Illinois Fighting Illini

Coach: Brett (Burt) Bielema comes into his fourth year as the Illini’s head man, and his goal will once again be to eat as many brats as humanly possible and run the football at you until you cry. It does not matter if you are at a barbecue or playing a game of football, he is going to do both of those things simultaneously. He is an impressive specimen who has gone 18-19 overall at Illinois so far.

Quarterback: Luke Altmyer returns after transferring from Ole Miss before the 2023 season. He didn’t have a great year last year (1,800 yards, 13 TD’s, 10 INT’s), but he battled injuries throughout the season and he has more raw talent than a lot of QB’s in this league.

Schedule analysis: A non-con game against Kansas probably won’t be very fun, and the start of @ Nebraska and @ Penn State is a pretty tough draw to open Big Ten play. The Illini also draw Michigan and Oregon in October, which we also do not anticipate being very fun for those involved in the Illinois football program.

One reason to watch this team: As mentioned, Altmyer does have intriguing talent that could lead to this being one of the league’s better passing offenses. Well, at least not the worst. Bielma’s teams are always physical and the Illini have developed defensive talent very well in recent years and outside of the aforementioned games that they will almost certainly lose, this could be a solid middle-of-the-pack Big Ten team. If “solid middle-of-the-pack Big Ten team” doesn’t get you fired up here on July 11th, perhaps you should take up futbol you communist.

Have a great Thursday and we will talk to you next week.

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